Category Archives: visitors

31.

IMG_8206This post is a week overdue but I still feel the need to put it to paper.  Errr…. to interwebs.  You know what they say, if you don’t blog about it, it didn’t actually happen.  True story.

Anyways, I turned 31 last weekend!  I don’t know why I’m !exclaiming! that because at this point it’s not something I feel the need to brag about.  Remember when Casey turned 31 and he had this whole theory about how you’re not really “in your 30’s” until you turn 31? And then I made fun of him?  Per usual.  And now… I totally understand where he’s coming from.  It’s all fun and games until you turn 31.  Is my new motto.  No it’s not.  I’m actually totally fine with it, but I do get what he’s saying now.

I had such a fun birthday weekend.  Well, birthday week, really.  If this birthday had a theme, I would say it was pampering.

Wait, is it just me or does the word “pampering” conjure up a completely different image after having a kid?  I mean, I’m assuming that’s how Pampers got their name, right?  I don’t like it.  Waa.  Excuse me while I go thesaurus an alternative word.

OK, I’m back.  Let’s try this again.  If this birthday had a theme, I would say it was mollycoddling.  (<— lol wut.)  Throughout the course of the week, I got a mani/pedi with one of my besties, I got my hair did, and my mom took me to get a facial and massage.   Plus, just having my mom here meant I barely had to cook, I barely had to change a diaper, I got treats and coffees and free time to do things like take a nap and take a toddler-free shower.  See!  I was mollycoddled!   Best part of all of it was the fact that my mom was here.  She’s the queen of making people feel special on their birthdays.  Decorations, cakes, gifts and cards, free babysitting.  She’s the very very best.

On my birthday night, Casey took me to dinner at a place where the servers use that little scraper thing that wipes up crumbs in between each course.  AKA fancy.  It was so freaking good, we’re convinced we cleaned our plates better than any other person that ate there that night.  We had a serious conversation about how they probably brought our plates back to the kitchen and were like, oh these are clean, did anyone even eat on them? we don’t even need to wash them.  Basically we were the King and Queen of the clean plate club, is what I’m trying to say.

And yes, that’s a whole paragraph on how much we ate at dinner.  It’s an exciting life we lead.

It was such a great birthday, and I’m so thankful to have such a wonderful family and friends to help me celebrate… me.  

birthdaybafoonsYou guys. What is wrong with us?  It took us approximately 37 tries to get a photo of just the two of us, without Crosby.  Here’s just a small smattering of the outtakes.  And why are our eyes shut in all of them?  Is this what happens when you’re officially in your 30’s?  Are your eyes more sensitive to light or something?  Help.

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Here’s to 31!  So far, so good.

Posts from my 28th, 29th and 30th birthdays herehere and here.


to the tulips!

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My mom is here visiting us for a few days (yay!) and since the weather has been killer lately we decided to take advantage and head to a tulip festival that’s in a town a little ways outside of Portland.  Now, before we go any further, here is a little tip from me to you.  When driving to a tulip festival that’s in a town a little ways outside of Portland, do not, under any circumstances, miss your exit.  Because it will tack on an extra 24 mins to your already 45 minute trip.  Which will push your drive time from  leisurely-day-trip to we-should-have-packed-a-change-of-clothes-trip.  There just seems to be a huge difference between under an hour drives and over an hour drives. Right?  Especially when you have a 1 1/2 year old and only so many cheese sticks in your diaper bag.  But, this is exactly the kind of scenario in which grandmas come in handy.  They excel at the art of child distraction, and they also convince you that you aren’t a tool for missing a very very obvious exit.

So anyways, we made it in one piece and were greeted with a dream come true of more tulips than you’ll ever see in your lifetime.

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I am quite possibly the least knowledgeable flower/plant person in the Pacific Northwest, but I can tell you this one bit of information that I do in fact know… tulips bulbs are poisonous for dogs. I learned this fun fact a few years ago when my dog Gus devoured a package of bulbs I had intended to plant… but instead I probably went to happy hour or something… and which led me to google things like “are tulips poisonous for dogs” and “will flowers make my dog’s breath smell better”.  Luckily Gus (ahem) “rejected” the bulbs all over our bathroom floor, so he avoided a trip to the vet.  And you know, death.

Well that got dark.

But so anyways!  The tulip festival was so fun!  Beautiful sights and lots of fun little activities for the little ones.  And kettle corn for me.

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Crosby took his first pony ride… and by the look on his face you’d think he was sooo over it.  Except that when I took him off the horse at the end, he cried because he didn’t want to leave!  See, he does enjoy things!

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I love that little poker-faced boy of mine.

The only downside to the whole event was that I lost Crosby’s sweet little sunglasses that he just got in his Easter basket.  Not a huge deal, but they were so cute.  Plus, that’s 5 whole dollars that I’ll never get back.  I mean, that the Easter Bunny will never get back.  ::side-eye::  We went to look for them at the lost and found station and the lady in charge was like, oddly protective over the box of found eyewear. She pretty much refused to let me look in it… like she was afraid I’d pocket some of the goods.  Which was far from likely since the box seemed to consist mostly of reading spectacles and bifocals.  Because hello, we were at a tulip festival.  Crosby was the youngest one there by 76 years.

 
IMG_0455 IMG_5857 IMG_5859^^I mean… if this doesn’t ignite your ovaries, I don’t know what will.^^

 

Til next time, tulipalooza!

thursday things. on a friday.

1. The other day I made the flattest banana bread of my life.  I usually excel at banana bread.  (This recipe tastes like unicorn tears)  But this time, it only lived up to half of its potential.  Likely because halfway through making it, I realized that Casey had used the last of the eggs for his scrambled eggs that morning.  (But you’re a stay-at-home mom, don’t you make your husband’s breakfast everyday?  Hahahaha, no.)  And anyways, no eggs meant that my little banana bread came out all flat and sad-looking. I felt so bad for her.  I kept imagining how self-conscious my little banana bread might feel next a bigger, more well-endowed banana bread.  So I tried to make her feel better by telling her it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

2. I promise I have a life.

3. But speaking of well-endowment (??), does anyone remember that book where the boys give the girl’s state nicknames based on their boob size?  Like, the girl who gets Colorado has big tator tots and the girl who gets Nebraska is as flat as…. my banana bread.  It’s got to be a Judy Blume book, right?  Help!  This is going to bug me.

4. In regards to #3, I imagine that I used to be an Oregon, all mountainous.  But since having a kid, I’m more like a Pennsylvania… sloping hills and what not.

5. If I have any male readers left after #4, I applaud your stamina.  Let me take you out for a nice whiskey drink.

6. We got Crosby a play kitchen for Christmas (shh don’t tell him) and I’m fancying it up with spray paint and contact paper, because I’m a douchebag mom.  But anyways, yesterday I put on like a million coats of spray paint and now… my arm is sore.  I probably shouldn’t be telling you that.

7. Last week I took a freelance job so we had to send Crosby to daycare for a few days, which was only the second time in his itty bitty life that he’s gone.  And wouldn’t you know?  He got sick.  Then I got sick.  Then Casey got sick.  Then my dad (who was here visiting) got sick.  Then my stopmom got sick.  With a stomach virus.  It was a calamity of events that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Except maybe Donald Trump.  Now he’s a real douchebag.

8. In addition to us all getting sick last weekend, our dog Gus got into my stepsister’s luggage and ate a bunch of her vitamins/pills… including Advil.  And if you don’t know, Advil is no bueno for doggies.  It can cause kidney failure, among many other scary sounding things.  So in the midst of my stomach bug, I had the distinct honor of bringing my dog to the vet to get his stomach pumped.  He ended up having to spend the night at the hospital for monitoring and fluids and such… and long story short, he’s going to be just fine.  We’re going to have to take out a second mortgage to pay for his vet bill, but hey, Crosby doesn’t need to go to college, right?

9. On a more exciting note!  We’re heading to Minnesota today for Christmas!  Uffdah you betcha doncha know!  (<—sorry)  I talked to my sweet grandma on the phone yesterday and she offered to make us a casserole when we go to her house for lunch next week.  I literally cannot wait.

10. By a show of hands, who thinks clogs are an acceptable footwear choice.  Because I currently have 2 pairs on my Christmas list.  #portlandproblems


my first mudder’s day.

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My first Mother’s Day is in the books!  Except that it’s not actually in any books because I am terrible at documenting things in journals or baby books.  Does this blog count?  As the worst baby book ever?  Anyhoo, Mother’s Day numero uno is down the hatch.  I mentioned in my last post that my mom is here from MN for the week and so I got to spend the day with both her and my little family.  She and I haven’t been able to spend Mother’s Day together for a long long time, at least since before Casey and I moved away from MN 5 years ago, and so to spend my very first one with her was pretty great.  I feel like since I’m an actual participant of the holiday this year, the whole day seemed to carry a new significance and weight.  But like, happy weight.  Not like, too many burritos weight.  Somehow, being on the other side of the Mother’s Day equation this year made me appreciate the special women in my life even more than before.  And appreciate that I have this day to feel appreciated as a woman and a mother.  Are you guys still reading this or have your eyes rolled out of your face?

So anyways, the point of all this is that my day was lovely.  Casey got up with Crosby at 6am so that I could sleep in until a luxurious 7am.  DREAM BIG.  Which honestly was amazing, especially considering we had both been up late the night before celebrating at our friends’ wedding.  (“Celebrating” is code for drinking too many old fashioned’s and dancing my ballz off on the dance floor to the point where my feet huuuurt the next morning. Hashtag this is 30.)  So that extra hour of sleep did wonders for my fuzzy soul that morning.  Once I woke up I was greeted with some hot coffee and slobbery kisses by my little baby guy, followed by cards and sweet gifts and more coffee.  Then we all went to breakfast at the same place that Casey and I went for Mother’s Day last year.  I smell a tradition!  It’s crazy to read back on that post and think about how much has changed since then.  Like the thickness of my hair.  And thinking 7am is sleeping in.

Later that day my mom and I ran a few baby-free errands, which may seem like a boring activity to some, but in actuality is akin to taking a small vacation.  Walking through Target with free hands is a luxury, my friends.  Leisurely browsing sandals and stopping to very carefully select the best ziplocs is the stuff mom dreams are made of.  Or something.  My sweet mama also bought me a few plants for our porch that I have really high hopes for.  I’m going to go ahead and give them an expected life span of the whole entire summer.  You hear me plant gods?  They will survive!  Or at the very least, they will NOT fall of the edge of the porch and go unnoticed for 2 weeks, like some petunias I know.

Then that evening we rented a movie and ate snacks and it was a perfectly lovely ending to a perfectly lovely day.  Except I don’t know if I would recommend Cake as an appropriate film to watch on Mother’s Day.  Take my word for it.  The storyline will make you want to grow a human kangaroo pouch and shove your kid inside and never let them leave.  But I do give Jennifer Aniston’s performance in it a solid A-.  Team Jen for life, is my perspective on things.

And that’s the story of my very first Mother’s Day!  It was good.  Thanks to my family, and especially to my little baby boy who will always be the one who made me a mama.  I love you, Crosby.

I hope you all had a lovely day celebrating the great women in your life.  Or at the very least, drinking some really good coffee and buying ziplocs.

More pics from our day, if you please!

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a wednesday brain dump.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetYou know when you’re grocery shopping with your baby in a front-facing carrier and you lean over to grab a package of refrigerated tortillas and then your baby vomits directly into the cold case?  Yah, me either.  (::side-eye::)

So hey, how is everyone doing?  It’s Wednesday.  So… there’s that.

We’re off to a great start aren’t we?  I apologize.  My brain is not really firing on all cylinders.  It’s just so full of things lately that I feel like it may or may not explode.  Work things (I’m doing some part-time writing work. Ye$!!), fun things (my mama is flying in today! and Mother’s Day is coming up, and we’re taking trip to San Francisco next week!) and then also just everyday things (laundry and vacuuming and diapers! and dog walks and both the post office AND UPS, because I must have accidentally budged in front of an elderly person at some point in the past and attracted some really bad waiting-in-line karma.)  Believe it or not, I am not actually complaining about any of this.  I swearsies.  I’m just working it out on paper (screen?)… and I think I’m inadvertently using this blog post as my to-do list for later today.  And in that case, buy coffee creamer and parchment paper.

Circling back to that San Francisco trip I mentioned, next week is Casey and my 5 year wedding anniversary.  I know what you’re thinking, how could I possibly be married for 5 years?  I don’t look a day over 21!  Right? ……?…..?…. Alas, I am not the spritely young buck I once was. I am now a married-for-five-years-has-a-kid-found-a-gray-eyelash-a-few-weeks-ago-still-scarred-by-it-30-year-old.  And anyways!  The point of this is that we’ve been married for 5 years and want to celebrate that so we’re taking a trip to SF/Napa, just me and my bae (<— gross. I won’t attempt that again, promise.).  We’re SUPER excited but I’m also internally freaking out over leaving Crosby for 3 nights.  We planned this trip a few months ago and I thought that by now I’d be “ready” and “okay” with leaving him for a few days, but you know what?  It’s going to be hard.  I’m used to being with that little poop factory all day, every day.  My mom is going to be here to watch him so I know he’ll be juuuust fine.  It’s me that I’m worried about.  I’m just really going to miss him.  I guess what I’ll have to do is drown my sorrows in a nice big glass of Pinot.  It’s really the only way I can see myself getting through this.

So anyhoodles, if you have any recommendations for things to do in SF, let me know!  I think we’re going to be touristy for the most part, since it’s Casey’s first trip there.  We’ll probably visit Fisherman’s Wharf and the Ferry Building and maybe rent some bikes and take them across the Golden Gate bridge.  And then we have a couple of winery tastings scheduled in Napa, thanks to a few lovely friends who are members at fancy pantsy wineries.  (Thanks pals!)   Sidenote: One of the first times we hung out with one of these friends was at a party she was throwing at her condo.  We didn’t know at the time that she was such a wine connoisseur (totally had to look up how to spell that word.) and so the expression on her face when I told her that the wine I’d brought to her party was bought at the Rite Aid below my apartment, was priceless.  I mean, I’d bought the most expensive bottle they had!  $14.99!  Good times.  Anyhoo!  Wine!  We’re gonna drink some!

Welp, the baby just woke up, so that’s about all I’ve got for you today.  Have a great Wednesday, homies!

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it’s been a while, let’s catch up.

IMG_4386First things first.  I have something really exciting to share.  Well, it’s exciting to me and probably no one else.  Except Casey.  And Crosby.  Although I don’t think Crosby quite understands the significance of “exciting” things.  Other than bath time.  But I’m sure he still appreciates the importance of this situation, in his own baby brain kind of way.  Maybe.

… What were we even talking about?

Ahh yes, big news!  We’ve found a solution to Crosby’s pee leakage problem that I talked about in my last blog post.  Yay!!!…… (See I warned you.)  We tried all of the suggestions you lovely people sent (thank you!) and after much trial and error we found that putting Crosby in a diaper that’s one size larger than normal at night does the trick.  He usually wears a size 2 during the day (yes, he’s just a little guy) so at night we put him in a size 3 Pamper’s Baby Dry and… no leaks.  It’s a washing machine miracle!   Apparently there are many reasons why a baby can leak at night, but in Crosby’s case it’s a quantity issue.  Putting a bigger diaper on him obviously means there is more, uh, storage space for all that little potty.  Aaaaand sometimes big potty.

Speaking of which, what is your stance on using the word “potty” versus “bathroom” when talking to your little ones?  Some people have such a strong opinion one way or the other.  Like “potty” is too juvenile but “bathroom” isn’t easy enough to say.  After a great deal of thought and introspection, I’ve found that I just don’t care.

I realize that anyone still reading this post who doesn’t have kids is likely pouring gasoline on themselves at this point.  So let’s move on from the potty talk and save ourselves that burnt hair smell, shall we?

I feel like we have so much to catch up on since my last blog post.  I didn’t realize it had been almost a whole month since I last wrote.  But a lot has been going on, so I’m thinking maybe it’s best if I do a little photo recap of the last few weeks.  Sound good?

I hope you understand that that was a rhetorical question.

IMG_4218The weather in Oregon over the past month has been bitchin’.

Does anyone say bitchin’ anymore?….  Is it working?….  I didn’t think so.

Well anyways, we’ve been taking advantage of the weather with frequent trips to the coast.  I’d go every day if I could.  If anyone wants to go tomorrow, hit me up.

Does anyone say hit me up anymore?…. Is it working?…. I thought so.

march_1IMG_4158 IMG_4204Don’t worry, we put a hat on Crosbaby’s head shortly after these pictures were taken.  We fully realize that the 7 hairs on his head do not suffice as sun protection.  Little baldy.  
IMG_4214march_4IMG_4246On this day we wore matching stripes.  Crosby’s idea.  It was also his idea to have this picture taken so he could take it with him to college and tell everyone how he and his mama used to sing “Let’s. Wear. Stripes! Let’s wear stripes! Let’s wear matchy, matching stripes!” to the tune of Beauty and the Beast’s “Be Our Guest”.  

march_3Our friend Tony came from San Francisco to stay with us for a weekend.  Watching him hold Crosby was mayyybe the highlight of February.  He’s a total baby rookie but gets an A for effort.  And a B for beer.

IMG_4286And on this day we realized that we all (unintentionally, promise.) wore black.  So, we commemorated that day with a vewwwy sherioush pikcheew.

IMG_4359My mom came to visit us for a few days.  This beauty just turned 50, but clearly doesn’t look a day over 25.  It’s only slightly weird when she’s holding Crosby and people think he’s her baby.  What makes it less weird is when I then snatch him out of her hands and scream HE’S MINE!!!

IMG_9866We made a quick, unexpected trip to MN last week. Casey’s beloved Grams passed away and so the three of us made a trip to the snow to be with his family and pay our respects.  Casey had a really special relationship with his Grams; she was the heart and soul of his entire family.  Needless to say, she will be greatly missed.

IMG_9840Baby eyelashes!!! I just want to gather them up and sprinkle them on my cereal.  (<— Quite possibly the weirdest thing I’ve ever written.  Because I can’t even remember the last time I had cereal.)

IMG_9890IMG_9901My soul sista Lindsey came to Portland.  She’s the sassiest ladypants I know and I love her dearly.  Fun fact.  One time Lindsey and I took a road trip from MN to California and it took us until 200 miles outside of LA to determine that the terrible thing I had been smelling the whole trip was actually a pair of new leather shoes in the backseat, and definitely NOT my armpits.  So.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetWe get a lot of questions about the mark on his upper lip.  It’s a birthmark.  Not a scratch, or lipstick, or the result of chewing on a marker.  Which are all guesses we’ve heard.

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This is Crosby and I at his SIX month check up.  Pre-shots, obvi.  But six months!  I don’t even and can’t even.  The fact that he’s half a year old makes me want to simultaneously cry and laugh.  Which actually is something that Crosby does once in a while. We have this theory that he got so used to crying in his early months that now he thinks that’s what he should be doing anytime his mouth is open.  It’s like a knee-jerk reflex.  He’ll yawn and start crying.  Or smile really big and start whimpering.  Or he’ll laugh and then get a confused look on his face and start weeping.  He’s actually happy, but the fact that his mouth is open throws him off.  It’s pretty cute actually.

He’s also been sitting up a bit, pushing up onto all fours, eating his feets, and chatting like crazy lately.  We’ve started giving him solids, which both he and Gus are really enjoying.  He thinks bananas are awesome and tomatoes can suck it.  He also likes when we put applesauce or mashed food onto a spoon and let him feed himself.  The spoon lands in his mouth maybe 1 out of 4 times.  The other three land on his forehead, down his bib, and on the window sill, respectively.

He’s finding his voice.  He likes to say the word “boo” over and over again really softly.  And when he’s sucking on a pacifier or a bottle, he sometimes makes this noise that sounds like he’s saying “oh yah oh yah oh yah” really fast.  Which I then mock, because I’m me.

He just recently has been giving us some nice big belly laughs, and they are everything.  Especially because of how challenging the first few months were.  Those belly laughs are like reassurance that hey, we haven’t completely messed our kid up!

Happy six months, baby guy.  We sure do love you.

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The end.  You did it!

Have a bitchin’ day.


ooh child, things are gonna get easier.

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Hi friends!  First of all, I want to say thank you times a million to the lovely people who reached out or sent messages after my last post.  I really had no idea that so many of our friends and family had gone through such similar reflux/colic/crybaby situations.  Though it seems like many of your experiences were much much worse than ours.  Bless your hearts.  Your stories and reassurances and suggestions (especially the ones that included wine) were taken to heart and I sincerely appreciate it.  I would never wish a crying baby on anyone, but I must say it’s nice to be in the company of so many amazing mamas and papas.  Kindred spirits and all that jazz.

Want to hear the good news?  Crosby’s reflux medication seems to be working!  (She says as she knocks on every piece of wood in a 12-mile radius.)  I’ve been super hesitant to actually say that for fear of jinxing us and having it all blow up in my face.  But we’ve been going on a week+ of pretty good days.  Don’t get me wrong, baby boy still has his moments and meltdowns but it’s nothing like it was a few weeks ago.  And the biggest change is that his tummy pain seems to be under control.  Thank all the gods.  Nothing worse than seeing a baby, especially your own baby, in pain.  And especially when it revolves around food.  Food is one of the best thing in life.  I can’t imagine not being able to enjoy eating.  (Says the lady who still has 10 pounds of baby weight to lose.)  Anyways.  Please join me in crossing your fingers, toes and any other loose appendages and praying that the medication continues to work.  Forever and ever amen.

Switching gears. Can I be basic for a moment and talk about how I can’t believe the holidays are almost here.  Can you?  Are you ready?  Have you decorated already?  Did you start Christmas shopping yet?  Did you hear about those two people who are already in line at Best Buy for Black Friday?  I’ve never really participated in Black Friday shopping so I don’t totally understand.  I mean, yes, you get a great deal on something… but is it really worth standing in line for 2 friggin weeks?  Am I missing something?  I don’t understand the desire to camp on the cement for weeks in order to save $14 on a CD-ROM or whatever.  No but really.  Why is this becoming such a phenomenon?  This camping out for Black Friday business.  Unless, is there free food associated with it?  Because then I might understand.

I repeat: 10 pounds of baby weight.

Anyways.  Even though they’ve crept up so quickly this year, I could not be more excited to experience the holidays with my babybooboomunchkinsmoochyface.  I’m giddy just thinking about bringing Crosby to pick out a Christmas tree, and to see Santa, and to see Christmas lights for the first time!  Even though he has no idea what Christmas is or who Santa is or you know, that he even has eyes yet…  ….. Well you know what it’s not really about him is it?  It’s about ME.  And I’m pumped.  Casey and I have been talking about starting some new family traditions now that there are three of us.  Which is terribly exciting but also there’s lots of pressure to come up with traditions that we won’t break in a year or two or 10.  You know what they say… a broken tradition is the number one cause of rebellion and crime in young children.  No not really, nobody says that.  But I really want to come up with ideas that we can and will want to continue for many years.  Anyone have any good ideas that we can steal?  All I can come up with are things that revolve around food.

Update: 11 pounds of baby weight.  I just ate a donut.

Welp.  I’ve written just about this entire post with one hand while holding a donut Crosby in the other.  So let’s do us all a favor and move onto the photo portion of this field trip.  Which includes pics from when my mom and stepdad were here, and then when Casey’s parents were here, and then other cute pics of my baby just because.  Go forth and prosper.

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This kid is a natural at the deadpan stare.  I have a feeling he’s going to speak fluent sarcasm when he’s older, just like his mama…. Poor Casey.


the little pumpkin that cried: a tale of a two-month old.

Hi friends!  I sincerely apologize for the radio silence around here lately.  Every day/week I have high hopes of making a blog post but you know.  Other stuff just gets in the way…. baby, laundry, episodes of The Voice, yadda yadda yadda.

But if we’re being honest here, the real reason I haven’t posted lately is that we’ve had a difficult last few weeks.  We’re not 100% sure why yet but for the past month, Crosby has been upset and crying.  Like, all the time.  And it’s been exhausting and defeating trying to find out why.  We’ve been doing research and of course everyone has an opinion on what’s going on with him… lactation consultants have been consulted (it’s a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance!), family and friends have been questioned (it’s colic! call a chiropractor! allergies!), google has been pillaged (your baby has some incurable disease!)…  and the latest diagnosis from our pediatrician is that our little dude likely has acid reflux.  We’ve started him on some medication and fingers crossed that this is the answer we’ve been looking for.

Because honestly guys?  It’s been really hard.  Yes, it’s exhausting and frustrating and LOUD.  But by far the worst part is seeing my little guy so sad and not knowing why or what I can do make him feel better.  It seems unnatural that I can’t immediately figure it out and fix it for him.  I guess I should get used to that feeling?  Many days I feel like all I do, all day long, is attempt to stop him from crying.  I keep searching for THE solution to soothe him (he likes it when you swaddle him with this blanket, hold him at a 45 degree angle, bounce at a rate of 2 up-and-downs per second, while running the vacuum cleaner, rubbing your stomach and patting your head...) but what works once never seems to work again.  And even when I do manage to calm him, I get anxiety waiting for him to start crying again.  Sigh.  Hold me.

I learned very early on, actually during Crosby’s birth, to throw all my expectations out the window.  Because things are not ever going to go the way I imagined them to.  But still, it’s hard to not feel a little bummed that our baby’s second month has been so hard.  Especially when I see other moms and babies who seem to have it all together.  I find myself getting jealous of friends who post pictures of their happy, smiling babies on Facebook or Instagram… I envy the other moms in baby class whose little one’s lay happily on their backs without screaming bloody murder… I even resent the perfect babies on the diaper commercials who just smile and giggle up at their stupid perfect mothers.  Sidenote: wouldn’t it be great if diaper commercials were realistic?  Like, instead of showing a picture-perfect mother cuddling her stylish newborn on a white couch while wearing a beige sweater set, they should show a woman in her sweatpants and bra, her hair held up by a chip clip, softly singing Hall & Oates “Maneater” to her baby who is juuuust about to fall asleep inside a padded laundry basket that she’s been jiggling just so for the last 20 minutes, until her dogs bark at the mailman and then the baby wakes up, shits his pants and starts screaming. Or you know, whatever.

Where was I?  Ahh yes, jealousy.  I’m working on letting it go.  I found a quote from Teddy Roosevelt the other day that I love, which is “comparison is the thief of joy”.  Hashtag truth.  I’ve been repeating it to myself lately whenever I find myself envying another parent or baby.  Because I know that every single one of them has something they’re dealing with.  Or will deal with.  And it’s probably much much worse than what we’re working through.  And even if it’s not, I shouldn’t compare our story to theirs.

So now is when I reassure you that it’s not all whomp whomp over here.  Promise.  The afternoons and evenings can be rough but Crosby is actually a pretty happy baby in the morning.  And in between meltdowns, we’ve had a lot of fun with our chubby little guy.  He actually started to smile two weeks ago.  If you ever want to hear the most deranged sounds come out of a grown woman’s mouth, watch her see her baby smile for the first time.  I’m pretty sure the first time I saw it, I regurgitated a foghorn…  and then I burst into tears because hormones.  It was pure joy.  We also celebrated Casey’s 30th birthday.  (!!!OLD!!)  And Crosby had his very first non-family-member babysitter.  (Thanks Rebecca!  So sorry Crosby’s 5-day constipation streak ended on your watch…)  We also just had my mom and stepdad here visiting last week, which I am HOPING to write a separate post about very soon.  (At the rate I’m going, you can expect to see it here in about 3-7 months.  Stay tuned.)  And of course, we got to experience Crosby’s first Halloween!  We kicked off the day at the doctor’s office… I’m an asshole and scheduled Crosby’s 2-month shots on Halloween morning.  Apparently I couldn’t wait to expose my child to his first Halloween scare.  Luckily Cros took the shots like a champ and then was alarmingly chill the rest of the day.  Chill enough to wear his costume and not cry through a Halloween party at Casey’s office.  I’m slightly disappointed in myself for not putting together a more creative costume for him… homemade costumes are usually my jam, but this year a $6 consignment store pumpkin suit was too perfect to pass up.  Wanna see?

shawnnathompson_halloween_6 shawnnathompson_halloween_5 shawnnathompson_halloween_4 shawnnathompson_halloween_3shawnnathompson_halloween_7 shawnnathompson_halloween_2Heart explosion.

SO that’s what we’ve been up to lately!  Here’s hoping the meds work and I’ll be back here again soon with stories of happiness, more smiles, and poop.  There will always be poop.


it’s 4:28 am, do you know what your favorite kind of cheese is? and other really important questions.

Processed with VSCOcam with b5 presetI was “prepared” for a good many things when Casey knocked me up.  Sickness, soreness, getting fat growing a beautiful human being inside me.  I figured I’d crave certain things and detest others, get a little hormonal (yup), and in general feel like a pretty big weirdo for a while, etc. etc.  What I was not prepared for, however, is the insomnia.  Well, not yet anyway.  I obviously know that this tiny sleep dictator I’m growing in my belly will be calling all the shots when he/she makes an appearance in a few months.  But I guess I just had it in my mind that in anticipation of those sleepless nights, I’d try to rack up as many bedtime points as possible now.  And that’s so not the case.  Because I totally gots the insomnias.  As a person who really really loves her sleep, this little side affect has sucked balls.

The intial pass out is no problemo. Typically, you can find me in bed by approximately 9/10pm.  This human hosting business is exhausting work so I’m usually a winner at falling asleep in about three minutes flat.  But 2am rolls around and it seems the baby and I are all, heyyyyy time to get up, where’s the party at? At which point my brain goes into total overdrive and I started thinking about ALL the things.  You know, like… what did I wear on Friday? Because my memory is shot these days and I have approximately 3 things that still fit and the last thing I want to do is wear the same thing on Monday that I wore on Friday.  And… if I had to pick one kind of cheese to live off of for the rest of my life, what would it be?  Assuming I’m not pregnant in this scenario of course because soft cheese is a hard contender.  And… where did I put that one necklace that I bought at that one store that one time?  And… I wonder if Casey is awake and maybe I should nudge him a bit to see if he is awake and feels like have a mid-night chat?….Nope, definitely not awake.

Oh, I get the big questions going through my head too.  Like how in the h. am I going to birth this kid and then raise it to be happy and healthy and DEAR DIARY what are we going to name it!?  But for the most part, my insomnia is enabled by the really stoopid questions.  Which is just so not worth it.  I’m pretty jealous of my dogs right now, one of which who is curled up between my knees and the other one who has so generously taken up residence on half of my new body pillow.  And no, they are not the problem.  They’ve been total bed hogs forever and it’s never really bothered me.  Much.

I guess the only upside to this insomnia – except the fact that I get to answer ridiculous questions to myself – is that I have time to blog?  About insomnia.  Yayyyyy.

In other news, mi mama is currently sleeping (hopefully more successfully than I am) in our guest room and I’m dying with joy having her here.  We’ve been having the best weekend ever talking about babies and bellies and Thai iced tea.  Because yum.  When she wakes up, I intend to ask her to stay in Portland until the baby arrives… and then maybe for the next 18 years after that.  In fact, maybe I’ll start whispering it to her through the heat grates – sleep hypnosis-style.  That wouldn’t be scary at all.

OK GOOD NIGHT MORNING! 


nato and fam visit portland. and eat fake meat.

Visitors #15, 16, 17 and 18 of the summer/fall visitor brigade came and went this weekend and again we’re left with a couple extra pounds, a messy kitchen and some giant smiles on our faces.  This is becoming a consistent post-visitor status for us: chubby messy smiley syndrome.  But hey, I’m not complaining one little bit because this past weekend brought us Brother Nate, sister-in-law Cindy and nephews Nolan + Harmon.  And it was good.

Between jobs and kids and new homes and you know, life in general, it’s hard for anyone to get away on a vacation.  So it was especially stellar to us that they decided to spend their time (and cash money) to come visit us hippies in Stumptown.  Seeing our city through other people’s eyes is always amusing and these guys were no exception.  Squash beer and vegan stop signs and shirts made out of hemp… this is normal, no?  But they were troopers and were up for trying new things and they even tried fake meat in my lasagna, can you believe?!

Also, did I mention nephews!  Those two little ones have my heart every day of the week.  They are the sweetest, funniest, cutest boys that ever were.  But holy balls, all the LOUD.  Is this a thing?  With kids?  The loudness?  I’m kidding obviously, I know kids are known to be noise-makers but my eardrums are still wincing at any moderate-level sounds today.  Not really but kind of.

There was a trip to the zoo, which resulted in the cutest (fake) bald eagle wings that Nolan then wore strapped to his arms for the remainder of the trip.  There was the Farmer’s Market where we tried cheese and saw where brussel sprouts are born.  There were numerous attempts to parallel parking a minivan in order to hit up 3 (THREE!) ice cream shops.  There was a brewery tasting and a stop at a local bar where a children’s band played bluesy kid’s songs while us big kids drank beer.  There was also a trip to Blue Star donuts where we talked about how overrated Voodoo was and then Nolan inhaled a blueberry bourbon donut.  That kid is cool.  There was a trip to a Thai restaurant where the boys colored and the adults feasted on delicious noodles and we talked about how alcohol doesn’t cure hot pepper-mouth, as I once thought it did.  There was also a bonfire and s’mores and some good chats about life and kids and of course there was the occasional Christmas Vacation reference.

What I’m trying to say is it was a really good weekend.  And I miss them.  You will too once you see these monkeys… pic1budsmybuddyIMG_0537IMG_0530IMG_0534IMG_0523munchkinsfly[ these wings were a hit.  i’m thinking of asking N. to borrow them for halloween.  although somehow I think a grown lady wearing a bald eagle on her arms won’t have the same effect… ]cutefam[ i mean seriously… ] loves[ 20 years ago his dad was giving me those exact same bunny ears. ] IMG_0491[ gus on cleanup duty ]baconIMG_0613IMG_0598IMG_0592 familydonutsIMG_0628[ And on the 8th day, God created nephews for me to kiss. ]

You guys!  We loved having you and miss you so much already.  Especially Gus, he’s going through ankle-biting withdrawals.  Promise you’ll come back soon?  I have a recipe for field mouse hotdish that has your names all over it.