Tag Archives: bumpdate

bumpdate: 36 weeks.

shawnnathompson_36weeksWeeks: 36 weeks
Baby is the size of:  a cabbage patch kid!  (I had a cabbage patch kid when I was little and her name was Carbell.  …Crosby and Carbell… that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?)
Weight gain: I’m officially bigger now than I was at the end of my pregnancy with Crosby.  And I officially couldn’t care less.  I’m sure that will change immediately after baby girl is born and I’m expected to shed this weight in an orderly fashion.
Cravings: Nothing really sounds that good lately.  Probably because my stomach is so smushed that I basically feel like I’ve just finished a Thanksgiving meal at all times, even if I’m actually hungry.
Sleep: Pregnancy insomnia is in full force which SUCKS.  I really wish I could stock up on some sleep now before the baby gets here, but unfortunately I’m already sleeping as if I already have a newborn.  It doesn’t help that Crosby has been getting up before 6am lately as well.  Pass the coffee, please.  And then some unisom.   And then a rice krispie bar, while you’re at it.
Movement: Have you been watching Stranger Things on Netflix?  You know when that thing tries to come through the walls?  That’s what it feels like baby girl is doing.  She is pushing SO hard on the front of my stomach, it feels like she is about to break through.  Which isn’t how it works, sweet girl.  So maybe give your big fat mommy a break?  Thanks love you.
Symptoms: All of the end of pregnancy symptoms are in full effect… puffiness, sore back, loss of breath, peeing every 7 minutes, leg cramps, insomnia, an online shopping problem.  (Let’s just all pretend that last one is legit, for the sake of my relationship with my husband.)
Missing:  The ability to put my shoes on without needing to ask my 2 year old for help.
Happenings: We’re in the final-ish days, people!  Since I had a c-section with Crosby, I’ll be scheduling another one with baby girl as a backup plan, if necessary.  So after my next dr appointment we will have a definite date that we know she will be here by. (AKA a definite date that I will be able to have some wine.) So exciting and scary and fun and holycrapimhavinganotherbabysososososoon!


second time around.

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Lately I’ve been doing a lot of comparing of this pregnancy to my first one.  Probably because now that I’m in the homestretch of this one, I’m realizing how much… less… I’ve done and thought about this time around.

During my first pregnancy, I felt like I was treated (and acted) like a fragile vessel on a magical baby-growing journey.  Pampering, downtime and rest were encouraged.  Everything was new and exciting and a little bit scary, and I had nothing but time to dwell on every little thing that happened.  This time around, I feel like I peed on a stick and then had 3 minutes to celebrate before I had to figure out what to make my toddler for dinner. (Mamas of 2+ kiddos, I salute you.)  It’s not that it’s not as exciting, it truly is, I just haven’t actually had the time to spend focusing on the magical journey that I’m on because I’ve been, you know, busy taking care of my first magical journey.  The good news the second time around is that I have experience on my side, so there’s been way less “IS THIS NORMAL” googling and way more acceptance of what the eff is happening to my body.

So anyways, here are a few examples of the differences I’ve noticed between the two magical journeys I’ve had the immense pleasure of being on…

First pregnancy:  (at 14 weeks along) Look at my teeny tiny baby bump! I must now parade myself belly-first through public places… hoping someone will notice my baby growing skills.
Second pregnancy:  (at 2 weeks along) Holy crap I’m showing already!?! Or is this just residual baby weight from the first time around?  Probably a combo of both.

First pregnancy: Take cute bumpdate photos biweekly.
Second pregnancy: Take 3 total bumpdate photos, which coincide with the only 3 days during my pregnancy where both my hair and makeup are done at the same time.

First pregnancy:  Terrified of labor, but I cannot wait to take my baby home to bask in postpartum bliss!!
Second pregnancy:  Labor shmabor. How am I going to handle postpartum hormones AND 2 small humans?!

First pregnancy: I can’t wait to breastfeed my new baby. What a bonding experience!
Second pregnancy: Nightly pep-talks to psych myself up for breastfeeding/pumping/latching/acid reflux/ouchie nipples.

First pregnancy:  ::reads all the baby books:: I’ve got this ALL figured out. I know exactly what kind of mother I want to be. I know exactly how I’m going to care for, raise and discipline my child.  It can’t be that hard.
Second pregnancy:  ::buys a case of wine:: Let’s just like, try to survive, shall we?

First pregnancy: Research every baby product for hours. Register for every baby product under the sun.
Second pregnancy:  ::buys a case of baby wipes::  K, I’m ready.

First pregnancy: The baby is 13 weeks, 5 days, 6 hours and 47 minutes and is the size of a papaya! The lungs are forming, nerve cells are multiplying, and synapses are forming in the brain.
Second pregnancy: I think I’m in the second trimester? I know I’m due in the fall. Wait, maybe the winter? Definitely this year.

First pregnancy: No caffeine. No soft cheese. No deli meat. etc. etc. etc.
Second pregnancy: “Make it a venti, please.”

First pregnancy: Take a 7-week birth class, prepare a detailed birth plan, curate a birth playlist.
Second pregnancy: Birth plan = try not to crap myself, have baby.

First pregnancy: Shop regularly for cute maternity clothes.
Second pregnancy:  ::adjusts sweatpants::

First pregnancy: Fill out baby book every week, keep an organized file folder of every sonogram and Dr visit report.
Second pregnancy: Accidentally use sonogram as coffee coaster.

First pregnancy: Babymoon! 3 baby showers! Pregnancy photoshoot!
Second pregnancy: High-five myself whenever I get to pee in peace.

***

Anyway, all that said… I have absolutely loved both pregnancies equally, but I do think that this time I’m much more excited about the after. That’s when the real fun starts, am I right?  Shout out to both of my babies who made this post possible.

PS pumping can suck it.

 


bumpdate: 32 weeks.

shawnnathompson_32weeksWeeks: 32 weeks
Baby is the size of: a plastic scooterboard (lol wut)
Weight gain: This is a safe space, right?  So I’ll give it to you straight… I weigh almost as much NOW as I did when I gave birth to Crosby.  (!!!)  Honestly, I feel fine about the poundages, I’m not freaking out about it… but the thing is that I also feel so much bigger this time around.  If you don’t believe me, just look at today’s photo compared to my 31-week photo with Crosby.  Yikes.  Makes me wonder what kind of zoo animal I’m going to look like by 40 weeks….?!
Cravings: I’m in the ice water stage of pregnancy again.  In that I need it at all times.  Seriously, don’t even think of handing me a glass of water unless it has about a eleventy billion ice cubes in it.  Please and thank you.  My obsession is so ridiculous that I bought a fancy new thermos that’s supposed to keep your water icy for much longer than regular old lame cups, and then I even went a step further and got stainless steel straws that make your water even colder as you’re drinking it. #highmaintenance #getalife
Sleep: Good-ish. But I’ve been waking up on my back a lot, which really freaks me out.
Movement: Less but more.  Does that make sense?  Like less overall kicks and jabs, but much bigger movement/she covers a wider girth than before.  (Can we collectively agree that I never use the word girth again? Cool.)
Symptoms: Is nesting considered a symptom? If so, I’m suffering from it.  Ever since we got back from our trip to Minnesota a few weeks ago, I’ve been stressing about getting everything in order ASAP.   We don’t have a ton of things to buy necessarily (although if someone could gift us a double stroller, that’d be greeeeeeeat) but we have some general preparing, planning, and reorganizing of our house and sleeping situations in order to accommodate baby girl’s arrival.  I want to feel like my house/life is as organized as possible when she gets here.  That’s super easy to do, right?
Missing:  I want a big ol sliced turkey sandwich without the fear of listeria.
Happenings: 9 times out of 10, if you ask Crosby where his baby sister is, he very gently pats my boobs.  Close enough buddy, close enough. shawnnathompson_32weeks_2


bumpdate: 27 weeks

IMG_6153Weeks: 27
Baby is the size of:  A camping lantern. Which reminds me that I really want to go camping at least once before this summer peaces out.  Though the idea of sleeping on the ground in my condition is less than desirable. Is it still considered camping if I bring my king-sized bed along?  Is it still considered camping if we just stay home and open our windows and put Crosby’s sound machine on the “forest” setting?  Is it still considered camping if I do none of the above and just eat 12 s’mores in my backyard?
Weight gain: I still have no idea. But I can tell you that the act of bending over has started to require some serious planning and deliberation.
Cravings: I eat ice cream almost every night.  So it’s safe to say I’m not craving spinach.
Sleep:  Meh.
Movement:  Every once in a while, baby girl will hit/kick/punch my… uh… southern region.  You know what I’m saying?  To give you a hint, it rhymes with shmervix.  (Heyo!)  Other pregos know what I’m talking about?  It’s a sudden, sharp pain that sends a shock wave through my legs and simultaneously makes me feel like I’m going to pee my pants.  It’s really uncomfortable AND it almost always happens in public.  So what I’m saying is if you ever see me out and about and I suddenly look as though I’ve been drop-kicked in the v, it’s because I HAVE.

I feel as though I may have crossed a line with that one.  Are we still friends?
Symptoms:  My gums have been super sore lately.  Which could be pregnancy related, or it could be because I have a dental appointment coming up and I’ve been flossing more than normal in anticipation of it.  Anyone else guilty of this?
Missing:  Beer festivals.  The epitome of summer in Portland.
Happenings:  We have done so very little to prepare for baby girl’s arrival.  Like, nothing, actually.  But we leave for MN today for two weeks and I’m confident that by the time we get back to Portland I will be in full nesting mode.  If nesting mode means being curled up in a ball eating ice cream.


bumpdate: 23 weeks. oh and also, we’re having a…


HEY!  How are you?  Me?  I’m just 23 weeks pregnant over here.  I know, I know, I have been such a delinquent preg lady this time around.  Poor baby #2 has no baby book, no bumpdates up until now, and I’ve done approximately 0-1 things to actually prepare for their arrival.  But to be fair to myself, it’s been a crazy past few months with this little bundle.  Let me start out by saying that everything is fine, but we did have a stressful scare a little over a month ago that has just recently resolved itself.  I’m fine, the baby is fine, and we’re just super thankful and happy to be moving on from an intense few weeks.

You’re probably like, wtf that’s the most vague paragraph ever.  And you’d be right.  Sorry bout that.  And maybe someday I’ll write more about it.  But for now we’ll just scooch on past it.  BUT.  We do have some really great news that came out of all the nuttiness from the past few weeks… we decided to find out the gender!  Finding out was something that we flip-flopped on so much with this pregnancy.   I just always assumed we’d keep it a surprise like we did with Crosby.  But, I found myself really really wanting to know this time.  And in the midst of all the craziness that was going on with this pregnancy, we thought we could probably use some good news.  So, at one of my ultrasounds, we had the tech put the “results” in an envelope to take home and open later… but then someone (coughmecough) got super impatient and opened it before we even left the room.

You’re probably like, wtf tell us already.  Ok here it goes… baby Thomps #2 is an itty bitty teeny weeny cutie patootie lovey dovey baby GIRL!!  That’s right my friends, in a few months I will no longer be surrounded by weewees.  And I seriously couldn’t be happier.

So here we go sweet baby girl, our first official bumpdate!

Weeks: 23
Baby is the size of:  A Nalgene bottle. (I discovered and LOVE the Ovia app for this pregnancy!  You can choose a theme for the weekly “size” updates… ((my theme is fun & games and so far the baby has been the size of a troll doll, a paper airplane and a video game controller, among other things)) and it gives you a little graphic of how big the baby is getting based on its hand size.  And just in general, it’s awesome.  Highly recommend for my fellow pregs out there.)
Weight gain: I have honestly no idea… maybe 10ish pounds?  Split equally between my belly and my bra.  Worth noting, I definitely feel like I’m getting bigger faster and carrying higher this time around.  All fun things.
Cravings: Nothing super specific but so far I’m consistently loving fruit, just like last time.
Sleep:  Ugh. Gah. Oof.  Waaah.  Sleep has been so hit or miss.  Due to uncomfiness and just overall stress and anxiety.  And on top of that, my toddler typically wakes up before 6am every morning.  So what I’m trying to say is, coffee and under-eye concealer have been my bffs this pregnancy.
Movement:  Baby girl has been moving a shitload.  (Can I say that?) I remember Crosby’s first movements felt like a sweet little butterfly in my lower belly.  Compared to baby girl, who seems to be practicing her flipturns since week 15.
Symptoms:  Oh, hey hormones!  I probably have more hormones pulsing through me than a Justin Bieber concert.  Or something.  I’ve been an emotional rollercoaster since day 1 of this pregnancy, and then because of all the craziness that happened, it’s been amplified by like a hundo.  It’s ridiculous.  I’m ridiculous.  Anyways, if I cry the next time you ask me what time it is, don’t take it personally.
Missing:  It wouldn’t be a true TMITM blog post if I didn’t talk about wine.  I miss wine.
Happenings:  Erm, like I said… we’ve done so very little to prepare for little miss’s arrival.  But I thiiiiink I’m going to try to potty train Crosby before she gets here?  Probably right around his 2nd birthday?  Did I mention I miss wine?  I know that 2 is on the younger side for training, but I’ve been reading the book “Oh Crap: Potty Training” and it has me fairly convinced that I should do it now rather than waiting until after baby girl is here and I’m even more sleep deprived and not in the mood to teach a little boy to aim his pee stick into the toilet.  Ya feel me? So anyways, any tips and tricks for potty training would be much appreciated!

Speaking on my firstborn… here he is in all his anti-photo-taking adorable glory.  

Bumpdate 2.0, over and out.


thursday things.


1. I’ve been attempting to read 4 different parenting books for the past 2 months.  But I can’t seem to make it through any of them… is this a bad sign?  That I’m not more enthralled by the books that are supposed to guide me in raising my small human?  Meh.  Can someone just please tell me how to keep my kid from tossing all of his food off of his high chair?  That’s all I really need to know, anyway.  I’ve got everything else completely handled. (hahahahahahahahahaha)

2. PSA of the day:  Just say no to the bulk candy bins at Ikea.  Trust me.

3. It’s Mr. That’s Me in the Middle’s birthday this weekend!  I have something planned for him but just realized that he likely won’t like anything I have planned unless it includes football and a couch.  So.  He’s gonna have a shitty birthday.

4. Last week I admitted my love for Felicity.  So it should come as no surprise that I also love the show Gilmore Girls.  (Every dude reading this is rolling their eyes, I’m sure.  All 2 of you.)   Anyways, have you heard the great news that Netflix is bringing it back?!!  Word is that they’re going to create four 90min episodes to air next year and I will probably binge watch them all in one day.  Any other nerds wants to join me?

5. Casey and I are on a fairly strict budget, and so I’m constantly trying to find cheaper alternatives to things.  One thing that’s been hard for me is coffee.  I’ve admittedly become somewhat of a coffee snob since moving to Portland.  I typically buy Stumptown, but that shiz is expensive, especially at the rate we chug it.  I’ve tried a few of the cheaper options from Trader Joe’s and they’ve all tasted like church.  So does anyone have any delicious, cheap, everyday coffee recommendations?

6. Crosby started walking last week! :)  While I was in New York. :(  The 5 days of his whole life that I’m not around and he takes off walking without me.  I mean sure, he’d taken 10-15 steps before I left so at least got to see his actual first steps. But he waited until I was gone to officially switch from crawling to walking.  Sob.  But on the bright side… there’s nothing cuter.

7. Speaking of New York, I have a bunch of pictures that I’ve been wanting to share.  But my storage is full on my computer and we can’t seem to transfer my photos to our hard drive and sometimes I really hate technology grumble grumble.  Sometimes I miss the days of disposable cameras and Nokia cell phones and zebra cakes.

8. I’ve had the song “Live Like You Were Dyin'” in my head for approximately 17 months.  Why.  Help. What is happening to me.  Is this what a stroke feels like.

9. I was going through old drafts in my email and I happened upon an old bumpdate that I wrote when I was 38 weeks pregnant that I never got around to publishing (because I ended up birthing a human that day, nbd.)  So crazy!!  Should I post it?  Would that be weird?  Probably?  Wouldn’t it be weirder to delete it though?  Maybe I should just save it?  Don’t you think?  Does anyone care?  Why aren’t you answering me?

10. Casey and I had an embarrassingly long conversation about fall daylight savings time the other day because we could NOT figure out which way we’ll need to adjust Crosby’s sleep schedule.  It was ridiculous.  But I think we’ve figured it out!  For any other parents that might be wondering, if you want to keep your kid on their normal schedule, you’ll need to push their bedtime an hour later in order to adjust to the time change.  I think.  But then reverse it, and then do it backwards.  Twice.  Now rub your stomach and pat your head and pray to the sleep angels for their sweet mercy.


bumpdate: 36 weeks


shawnnathompson_36weeksHello and welcome to another edition of bumpdate!  We’re nearing the end folks, and I’m starting to wonder which of these updates will be my last. This Friday I will hit the magical 37 week/full-term status and I’m kinda at the point where I’m ready for baby to make an appearance.  Well, ready-ish.  Emotionally ready?  Doubt it.  Physically ready?  Yes please, I’m so uncomfortable, get out.  Logistically ready?  Basically. The only things we have left to do are to install our carseat and pack a bag for the hospital. Speaking of which, can someone please help me with that? So far in my hospital bag I have packed a wheel of brie, a hot tub, 3 bottles of wine, 17 pieces of salmon sashimi, a thermos of the strongest coffee Portland has to offer and a roller coaster. Am I missing anything? Please advise.

Bumpdate time. Let’s do dis.

Weeks: 36 weeks.
Baby is the size of: According to my weekly pregnancy newsletter, the baby is the size of a honeydew melon this week. Shyahhhh right!  That can only be true if that honeydew melon is the size and weight of a 12 pound bowling ball.
Weight gain: Duh.
Cravings: I still just want all the ice cubes in the world. I don’t know if it’s the heat or what but I pretty much refuse to drink water if it doesn’t have 7 million ice cubes in it.  And I’m seriously tempted to call Sonic and ask them to ship me some of their ice cubes. You know, the round little cubes that come in their limeades and such? They’re perfect. I daydream about them.  (….It’s an exciting life I lead…)
Sleep: Not good. I’m waking up several times per night and then I stay awake for at least 1-2 hours each time. Basically I’m practicing for nighttime feedings… because I’m just such a good mama already.
Movement: This kid has some major reach. At any given time I can feel it crushing my pelvis, kicking my ribs and poking my sides, all at the same time. If the last bumpdate movements felt like Elaine Benes dancing, then this week is Richard Simmons workouts. Basically my baby has some really classy moves.
Symptoms: You know, I always thought that the pregnant waddle was (for the most part) exaggerated and probably avoidable. However, no. The only comfortable way for me to walk lately is with my legs 2 feet apart and my arms swinging like crazy. #seksi
Missing: I really miss not looking like a cabbage patch kid.
Happenings: We took a baby CPR class last week and as soon as we left the building I promptly forgot everything we learned. I’d like to blame pregnancy brain but that seems counterintuitive? I’ve since printed out the CPR manual and plan to make copies and stick them to every surface of our house.
Also happening, Casey and I took our babymoon trip last weekend! Which is such a ridiculous concept but I’ll take a vacation regardless of how silly it sounds. I’ll post more on that later this week… get excited.

shawnnathompson_36weeks_2

 


bumpdate: 34 weeks

shawnnathompson_34weeks_bumpMan, I’m really slacking on the bumpdates lately. Remember back in the day when I was posting them every single week? Back when the idea of putting on public-appropriate clothing and smiling for the camera every few days didn’t see quite so…. difficult.  I’m just seriously slowing down lately.  Everything takes a whole lot more effort… and will power.  It’s to the point where I dread going pee because I know that after I go, I will need to eventually stand back up.

I’ve juuuust now started to freak out about how much we have to do yet before the baby gets here. I’ve been cool as a cucumber up until a few days ago, when I had the realization that I was almost (and now am) 6 weeks from D day. And this kid could totally decide to show up early (although I’m fully preparing myself for overdueness because that’ll likely be my big FAT luck). Anyway, 6 friggin weeks away!  We need a mattress for the crib!  We need to vacuum the car!  Hang bookshelves!  Do we know baby CPR?  NO?!  Then we need to take a baby CPR class!  Stock up on dog food!  Stock up on human food!  Wait, now I’m hungry!…  I currently have about 7 million to-do lists floating around my general vicinity and we actually are crossing things off those lists but it’s hard when all I want to do when I get home from work is lay in bed with my feet propped up on 7 pillows with a giant glass of ice cube water (like, a whole tray of ice cubes in a mason jar) and do nothing.  I know, I know.  Realistically I probably have some time to get all these things completed but I have a tendency to think about things as a whole instead of just one thing at a time. And I know I need to practice patience and be realistic about what can be done now vs. later vs. …. meh, never. I mean, is it really necessary to talk about having a garage sale when we don’t really even have a garage or things to sell? Probably nope.

But along with the freak outs comes the overwhelming excitement that we’re so so close to meeting our little one! It gives me the shivers to think that we’ll have a kid NEXT MONTH. It’s basically like today is Thanksgiving and the baby is Christmas. That’s the timeframe we’re looking at. And who isn’t excited for Christmas!?! Cute, tiny, adorable, shitting, barfing, time-sucking, nipple chewing, sweet, baby Christmas?!

Let’s bumpdate!

Weeks: 34 weeks
Baby is the size of: A butternut squash.
Weight gain: At my last dr appointment, I had gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks. So. There’s that.
Cravings: I’m so boring. Nothing new. Except like I said, a mason jar full of ice cube water. Oh, but I’m still really into ice cream. Uh, and coconut water. And friendship fries (which is what I call french fries because doesn’t that sound so much cuter and less greasy when you’re ordering them for yourself but pretending they’re for everyone?).
Sleep: Sleep, shmeep. I don’t think I’ll ever sleep comfortably again. Whatever. Sort of related…. I had a thought the other day that I haven’t had a single dream about our baby. That I can remember. Is this normal? I keep waiting for it to happen – for the dream gods to tell me if it’s a boy or a girl. And to tell me what to name it. And to maybe give me a hot makeout sesh with Ryan Gosling. Wishful sleeping.
Movement: SO much, all the time and Casey is officially freaked out by it. Because it’s not just sweet little kicks and hiccups… there seems to be sumo wrestling and full-force Elaine Benes dancing happening in there. I think it’s fantastic but I can see how it would freak out my giant manly husband.
Symptoms: Backaches like whoa.  Especially the lower, middle and upper back.  Know what I mean?  I actually had my first prenatal massage a couple of weeks ago… I’d been holding on to a gift certificate since Christmas, just waiting until the backage was good and ready for a nice rub down.  And seriously.  It was amazing.  Just being able to lay on my stomach for the first time in months was reward enough.  (They have a miraculous foam pad/belly hole type-situation that allows pregnant ladies to lay on their fronts during a massage without butternut squashing the babe) I now want to get a professional massage every single night.  Although I would maybe request a female next time?  Because getting a massage from a dude that is not my husband at 30+ weeks pregnant is less than ideal.  Unless it’s Ryan Gosling.  
Missing: WINE. My dad was here last weekend and we went wine tasting. And by that I mean I went Pelligrino tasting while Casey and papa drank wine. Being the lovely papa that he is though, he bought us a few bottles that we can enjoy post-baby and I’m already salivating just thinking about them. Do you think the doctor can inject an IV of wine into me as I’m pushing? Can I add that to my birth plan?
Happenings: LOTS of happs. We are done with baby classes and are now officially baby experts. Is what I’m telling myself. HA. The baby room is almost ready for its inhabitant. And yes family, I will post pictures soon.  We also met our pediatrician this morning. And were fully unprepared, of course. She asked us if we had any questions and we both just stared at each other like, oh yah we should probably have thought through what we wanted to ask the medical professional who is going to be caring for our baby’s health and well-being. Whoops. Also – it’s August!? Which means I only have 4 more weeks of work before I’m on vacation maternity leave.

Unrelated but sort of related: I know that there are a few prego ladies out there – so I’m curious if anyone would appreciate a post about my pregnancy must-haves or products? Yes, no, maybe so?

MOAR BABIES in BELLIES!

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bumpdate: 31 weeks

32weeks.jpg

Weeks: 31 weeks
Baby is the size of: A pineapple! I’ve been waiting this whole pregnancy for the baby to be the size of a pineapple. I feel very accomplished this week.
Weight gain: [pig snout emoji]
Cravings: Maybe it’s because it’s hotter than shit outside or maybe it’s a craving, but I can’t stop with the ice cream. Such a cliché. A delicious, magical cliché. I like to think that I’m craving the calcium. Just go with it.
Sleep: Ugh, getting worse and worse. Every sleep position is uncomfortable even though I’m surrounded by eleventeen pillows. This gut is just.so.big.  It’s like sleeping after eating 17 Thanksgiving meals.  So… any sleep suggestions for these last 9 weeks would be moderately to severely appreciated.
Movement: The baby has taken up hiccuping at least 3-5 times a day. You’d think the amniotic fluid was made of Coors Lite at the rate that this kid hiccups. #lightweight
Symptoms: The cankles are in full effect, my friends. Especially in this heat wave we’ve been having. I point them out regularly to Casey, who then lovingly refers to me as Professor Klump.  Perhaps I should start incorporating pics of my canks in these bumpdates, so you can all follow along on the slow disappearance of my ankle bones.
Missing: The second trimester. Those were the glory days.
Happenings: I lost a blueberry down my bra all day yesterday. I felt it fall in when I took a bite out of my breakfast in the morning, tried to fish it out, failed, went on with my day, got home and changed into a sports bra to go for a walk, and out fell that blueberry. And then Gus ate it. I should probably get used to small creatures consuming things that come out my bra.

…you know… a lot of these bumpdates consist of me talking about the crappy or weird parts of being preg. And while there definitely are some crappy and weird parts, they definitely don’t represent how I feel about this pregnancy overall. So today I feel compelled to type out loud, that I kinda love being pregnant… and I am genuinely ecstatically excited to meet this little womb dweller. To be perfectly honest (and here’s the part where every other pregnant woman can go ahead and hate me) I’ve had a really easy pregnancy. My symptoms and side effects have been minor, and although I come back here every few weeks to chat about cankles and belly hair, I honestly wouldn’t change my experience for anything.

What I’m trying to say is, pregnancy (for me) has been amazing. I’ve loved every second of it. And I want to remember that. I also want to remember that right now at this very moment I have a shooting pain of fire going through my right boob. So maybe I should just shut my pie-hole and stop jinxing myself with all this “easy pregnancy” talk.

Bumpdate #9, over and out.

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bumpdate: 28 weeks

28weeksWeeks:  28.  AKA third trimester. AKA ohmygawd.
Baby is the size of: An eggplant.
Weight gain: Yup.
Cravings: Nothing new.  Except I want to drink the shit out of this. How good does that look??  Now, who would like to come over and make it for me?
Sleep:  Meh.  Ok-ish.  Although I’ve been awoken by some gnarly charley horses in my legs more often than necessary lately.  Did you know that Australians call charley horses “corkies”?  Isn’t that something?
Movement:  I can see the baby moving through my clothes these days, which is sort of the coolest thing ever.  I find myself staring down at my belly quite often, waiting to see a little tap or a big shift… I’m sure I look really normal and not weird at all to anyone who might be observing.
Symptoms:  Heavy breathing.  No, but seriously.  Breathing is a challenge lately.  And I didn’t really understand this side effect until I saw a picture of how smushed pregnant women’s lungs get when there’s a human taking up all the space on the insides.  It’s pretty remarkable.  I had a really stupid day yesterday and came home from work feeling bummed and bloated and just altogether weird (yayyyy hormones).  As soon as I got home, I hoisted myself onto our bed, cried for no good reason and just heavy breathed for like, 30 minutes.  Casey brought me mac and cheese to make me feel better, and I kept thinking that if I happened to be on a reality TV show, my life in that moment would have been so hysterically depressing to watch.  So, anyway.  The moral of that story is heavy breathing.
Missing:  98% of my wardrobe.  I recently tried on a few of my pre-pregnancy dresses, in hopes of finding something to wear to one of my baby showers.  What a disaster. I knew that my belly had grown, obvi, but I clearly underestimated my basketball boobs and an ass that now requires it’s own zip code.  What I’m saying is, there’s a reason for maternity clothes, my friends.  And if I could please have all the Hatch pregnancy clothes, I’d happily stay pregnant forevs.
Happenings:  We made it through the dreaded birthing videos at our last baby class.  I was pretty nervous about seeing the videos, I’ll be honest.  I hadn’t ever watched an actual birth, from the angle of the, ahem, nether regions, and I was psyching myself up for seeing all kinds of mass chaos.  But really, the videos were pretty tasteful and there were barely any crotch-shots.  Which is all you can really hope for in life, right?

IMG_2405 IMG_2412 IMG_2418Fun story.  The espadrilles I’m wearing in these photos are a tad too big for me.  So in an effort to keep them on my feet, I tried to find something to stuff into the front of them to make them more snug.  I first tried toilet paper, but it sort of crumbled and then I had little bits of TP stuck to my feet all day.  Next I tried cotton, but that keep getting caught in my toes and was uncomfortable.  Finally, I found the perfect, soft, tiny solution.  Baby socks.  That’s right, I borrowed my unborn child’s socks and stuffed them into the front of my shoes.  I really don’t think the baby minds, and I fully intend on giving them back to him/her once they exit the womb and actually have the need for socks.

I’m already rethinking telling that story…